Could you help me to check and correct this passage from a student’s “ informal letter.” She was supposed “ to persuade the head of the city to encourage people to use their private cars less and express her own ideas about it.” Unfortunately,
I’m confused. For me, it is much easier to write everything by myself. I see that there are a lot of mistakes in the sentences. I think they’re overloaded with complicated structures and excessive words. Thank you in advance.
Here is this passage:
“These measures will have great positive effects. Firstly, our society will become safer and healthier as car accidents will be prevented, traffic jams and cars will become less. Secondly, these measures will stop a great rate of increasing of hazardous gases into the atmosphere and our environment will be pure. Well, that’s all my ideas.”
Vielen Dank, dass Sie sich die Zeit nehmen, unseren Server zu bewerten.
Подскажите, пожалуйста, верно ли построено предложение.